Things I Love

I always write "Things I Hate," so here's a list of "Things I Love:"

-Making perfect contact with a baseball with a wood bat.

-The feeling of blood rushing into your muscles right after completing a really difficult last rep. Especially good for dumbbell bench and skullcrushers.

-The face all dogs make when they take a dump - sheepishly glancing around, mouth pulled tight into a frowny clown face. Combines well with the posture every human assumes when he realizes the dog he's walking is about to drop a deuce: standing still and looking around helplessly, dangling the leash while maintaining a safe distance from the biohazard being deposited.

-Puppy breath.

-When an athlete goes into the "violent elation" pose after a hard-fought victory - fists clenched by the waist, head back, eyes wide, screaming "AAAAHHHH!!!" in one short burst. Kevin Garnett is a master of this.

-Taking a really long, satisfying piss and getting that shiver that runs up your spine.

-Putting your freshly shaved head under the showerhead for the first time.

-When someone you don't know quotes a really obscure movie line that you love, like Chong Li admitting defeat by saying "Mah... te" from the end of Bloodsport.

-Peeing outside under the stars.

-Being anyplace where you can turn 360 degrees without seeing any manmade structures.

-When you've been in the ocean all day and you lie in bed at night, and you can still feel the phantom current pulling at your legs.

-The back part of a girl's neck that you can only see when she has her hair up in a ponytail.

-Going for a run to "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails.

-The way the drive-thru person at In-N-Out gets my order right every time, even when it's complicated, and reads it back to me in coherent, audible English. It practically brings a tear to my eye, if only because it's so refreshing compared to other fast-food places. I understand that the Taco Bell guy can't speak English, but he could at least turn the speaker volume up past "Ghost With Emphysema" so I can GUESS what he's saying.

-Starting your car just in time to hear the beginning of an awesome song.

-Trying to pinpoint where you remember a TV character from for 10 minutes and then successfully remembering. (Recently made obsolete by the iPhone.)

-The feeling of anticipation you get when you make a throw to the plate from the outfield and you know the guy is out while the ball is still in flight.

-The barely-painful tingling sensation you get in the middle of your back from a light sunburn after you spent all day outside.

-Conversely, looking outside and realizing the sun's going down and you're still wearing a bathrobe.

-When someone's behind you in line at the supermarket and the items he's purchasing speak such volumes about his life that you feel like you know him intimately. This is gratifying regardless of the statement the person's groceries make; either you mentally congratulate the person on his excellent taste (Cookie Crisp, Blue Moon beer, beef jerky, and Bagel Bites) or you get to feel like you're better than him (hummus, TV dinners, and low-fat yogurt).