Fuck you, Quentin Jammer

In case you missed it, the Chargers lost yesterday to the Cowboys 28-24, largely thanks to three incredibly painful defensive penalties during the second half, all of them taking place on third down. If I were Jamal Williams right now I'd be taking a fat dump in Quentin Jammer's locker. The Chargers' D-line did an outstanding job of containing Julius Jones in the second half, and the secondary let them down hard.

It goes without saying that I fucking hate the Cowboys and their legion of hick-ass, stonewashed-jeans, "America's-Team," I-wear-my-1998-Troy-Aikman-jersey-to-bars fans. Why? Because I am a rational American male not from Texas. So watching them drag Drew Bledsoe, who at this point in his career is less maneuverable than a Standee(TM) of himself, into Qualcomm and walk out with a win makes me want to tear out my eyeballs and mail them to Marty Schottenheimer with the attached message "I don't want these anymore, thanks."

Nothing is more frustrating to me than defensive penalties, particularly in the secondary. Quentin Jammer has had two years to learn the new five-yard bump rule and he still CONSISTENTLY jams guys well outside the free-contact zone. The blatant pass-interference violations that DBs commit never cease to amaze me, because it's not like they ever get overlooked. If you're an offensive lineman and you hold, there's at least a chance that your jersey grab is going to get lost in the shuffle of bodies around the line of scrimmage. But there is an official assigned to every receiver now watching specifically for pass-interference calls. So Q, when you can't stop yourself from getting slapped with two huge (and obvious) PI penalties on third-and-long that end up prolonging drives for the Cowboys you might want to start looking for another job.

Jammer led the league in pass-interference calls last year, picked up a big one in the playoff game against the Jets last year, and now this. If it took me that long to learn things, I wouldn't have a job. Oh, right.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and one other thing: this morning on "Cold Pizza" Woody Paige misspelled "steroids" as "steriods" on a sheet he had printed up before the show. Two things:
1) Kudos, Woody. You were off the charts before, but now you have proven without a doubt that you are functionally retarded.
2) HOW DO PEOPLE CONTINUE TO MISSPELL "STEROIDS?" THE WORD APPEARS ON ESPN PROBABLY 100 TIMES PER DAY AND IS SPELLED PHONETICALLY.
3) I was talking to my friend Noah about a similar incident the other day. An ESPN college football writer - whose only job is to cover college football- misspelled the name of Matt Leinart, perhaps the most recognizable college football player in the nation, multiple times in his column. Noah said something that is appropriate here: "If other people's professional incompetence bothers you, you will go insane."